OCD: *Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry, by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety, or by a combination of such obsessions and compulsions. OCD sufferers generally recognize their obsessions and compulsions as irrational, and may become further distressed by this realization. *http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ocd
First of all, I absolutely recognize my obsessions (and have an arsenal of family members that would ever-so gently remind me...generally by laughing) but I am NOT by any means distressed by the "realization". Now, I am not as severe as some so I can completely understand why one would feel distressed, but in my case I like to throw it out there, laugh about it and then it's not nearly as big of a deal. That's just my way...might not work for you. Also, if you didn't know, OCD is as common and diagnosed as frequently as asthma. However, some people think they have it and quite frankly do not. Just because you like your stuff in certain places does not, I repeat does NOT, mean you suffer from OCD. You actually should go see someone other than your BFF for a professional opinion if you really want to know. (OMG Besty, you keep flushing the toilet after you go pee! You know whaaaat??? I bet you have that OCD thingy.) Let me list out some of the things I do just to get to work (some I am able to control now thanks to my therapist, husband and embarrassment):
*Note, my tendencies lean more towards trying to prevent something destructive; I am not a number counter for the most part although I feel better with evens...oh come on, who doesn't?
1. Before I can hit the brew button on my coffee maker I have to make sure the carafe is in the right place over and over again because if it's not I fear that the coffee will miss the hole and cause a short and then fire. I also really like the noise for some reason. If I get distracted I start over. It really bothers me if I think the lid isn't on the carafe well too so clicking the pot in and out comes AFTER popping the lid on and off to make sure it's snapped into place correctly. "There, it snapped! Wait, did it snap or just slide? I'll try again just to be sure." Lather, rinse, repeat.
2. I cannot hang up my hair dryer until I can hold the "gun" for several seconds without it hurting...so if I try too early...OUCH! If I have to pack it...well, let's just say that there's gonna be a loose dryer flying around the trunk of my car. And I'm completely aware that if it was gonna burn my clothes it could burn on the cloth in the trunk. Duh! Even if my stuff didn't burst into flames it could melt and no one likes melted panties!
3. If I use a flat iron or curling iron I have to go back and check to make sure it's not on or plugged in over and over. Sometimes I make it all the way downstairs (I've even made it to the car once), but if it even flashes in my brain I have to go back up and check again and the process starts over.
4. I have got to watch my garage door close and then watch it through my rear view mirror to make sure it's still closed until it's out of site. If I look away or someone waves (anything that takes my eyes off the door) I drive around our loop and start again. I also hit my leg 4 times and point 3 but all that is mute if I get distracted. My poor right thigh! I had a neighbor ask me why I was casing the neighborhood!! Doh! Busted!! My answer? Oh, well I was trying to figure out which house would be the easiest to break into! <insert crazy-lady, nervous laugh here>.
That's just my morning. I'll go in to my light switch flipping, face washing rituals (no washy means no sleepy for me) and the fact that I HAVE to dry my washing machine after I'm done doing laundry.
Just to remind you, if you did actually hear me on the radio, some of these things got worse the week before last due to the ever-so-lovely host of the morning show making me nervous. Stress is sooooo NOT my friend...funny...but not friendly. Oh, and I did try the rubber band thing for quite some time but the red mark does NOT show up fast enough to convince myself I've done everything and I refuse to snap it so hard I yelp! Try it before you recommend it people.
I had no idea. Was this adult onset, or did you have well-hidden tendencies when we were younger?
ReplyDeleteMostly I just worried my parents by making wishes about everything and never letting my anger out, and I did things when I was scared or to keep myself from getting scared if I was home alone or it was bedtime. Nothing huge and I really can't remember when the other stuff started...I do know that it got worse like big time after our house was broken into when we lived in Columbia. Also, you have to remember that you had a way about you that made everyone just relax or chill...it was great being around you!
ReplyDeleteAwww...you're sweet to say.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like it started as a coping mechanism and a way to feel in control and it just grew. For sure a trauma, like a break-in, can facilitate the manifestation of predisposed behaviors. It sounds like you're dealing with it pretty well though.
Yeah, I've learned ways to stop doing some things or at least do something less time consuming and/or less noticeable than a louder behavior. Plus, like I wrote, some are just freakin' funny and I'd just make myself sad if I didn't laugh!
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