Powder...is that you??

It's so funny when you think about how we flip-flop between how fast or slow we want our kids to grow up.  How confusing to our children.  When my daughter is all about her friends and is worried that she'll look like a baby if she kisses me or shows affection of most any kind it makes me a little sad and I long for times that have passed us by much too quickly.  But when she's so clingy that I would have to have her surgically removed from my butt just to go to the next room, I'm telling her it's time to start growing up and to go find something to do. Just last night we were talking about different things that needed to start or stop now that she is almost twelve and she asked if I wanted her to stay the same age or grow up because she hears both.  Yeah, I get that question and her frustration wasn't falling on deaf ears.  I told her that "no, I can't make up my mind about how fast I want you to grow up!  I'm torn between the two sides of you and quite frankly it just depends on the situation!"  She looked at me and asked "what exactly am I supposed to do with that answer?!"  What I wanted to say that she could do with that answer is not important. <ahem> 


I had been thinking that my daughter should start shaving her legs but also didn't want to cross that bridge yet. So when she asked me I said yes, but I wanted to say that I didn't think she was old enough.  I'm not sure what the appropriate age is and I think it just depends on personal opinions...she's one hairy-legged girl so I knew it wasn't a bad idea, I only questioned the timing.  I went with it and showed her how and left her to it.  My little girl was growing up and that day will never be forgotten...but NOT because the next step is makeup or something...my darling little Cup Cake thought it would be a fantastic idea to get rid of her peach fuzz on her face! Oh, that's not the worst of it...that turned into "hey, my face should be completely hair free!".  Later, and to be quite frank I didn't care after I saw her, she said she didn't do her arms because she could only shave one since she's right handed.  I would have rather her done her arms, even just one!  She shaved her eyebrows...OFF; her eyebrows were GONE...GONE!!!  Her face was BALD!  Dear Lord in Heaven...are you testing my strength and will-power not hurt my child?  I was so mad I went blind for like thirty seconds!!  At first I couldn't speak...I just made these weird gurgling noises.  I started blinking all weird and tapping my leg, and that's when it was suggested that she disappear for a while.  I still yelled at her when I saw her thirty or so minutes later.  I was like "you look like a cancer patient!  What were you thinking?! Look at you! I can't even look at you! Just look at you!" I swear she looked like that kid Powder that was kept hidden from the world until an awesome John Travolta came along. Well, not even the sexy J.T. could have squelched the anger that was bubbling up in me.  Okay, not true; Mr. Travolta is magic and I'm pretty sure could make me forget my own name.  I seriously got angry every time I saw her until it started growing back!  And if you happen to be interested in how long that is...it's about a month.  It took one whole month to see just the beginnings of any growth.  That's a long time not to be able to look your kid in the face.  Actually, I did look sometimes, but it wasn't a glance or a gaze as we are holding a wonderful conversation; I stared at my daughters face like I was plotting something against her. When I stared at her I was willing her eyebrows to grow back half the time and the other half was me cussing her out in my head.  How could I send her to school like this?  I know how mean kids can be too and what if they tease her?  Should I cut her hair to give her some bangs?  I didn't want that, bangs are a curse that I will never get out from under and I didn't want that for her...but still...what to do?!  I tried drawing them on her and she just looked angry so I had to wash that off and then I did them too arched and she looked surprised or like a face-lift gone wrong. I drew them uneven, too long, too heavy, with eye liner, eye shadow (three different shades in about six different combinations) and a neutral lip liner that I had.  I washed her forehead so many times she was red for over two days!  Her skin was sore from me scrubbing and I have to admit I washed her head a bit harder than called for.  I made a bad situation worse!  I think you have to be a certain age or at least already wear a certain amount of makeup to be able to draw in your eyebrows without looking like a cartoon sketch (although it never looks right on almost anyone).  I will never understand why people shave them all off and draw them back in or worse, tattoo them on.  You would be amazed at how much eyebrows add to your face and when they are gone they will be missed...I have anxiety just thinking about it again!!  "Mom, I'm going to go take a shower."...<gulp>, "Okay, do I need to remind you of anything? Don't look at me like that!  Who knows what you'll do up there!!"


When to let your child start doing certain things or when they should stop is a guessing game and you just have to do your best.  But if you give them something like a cell phone, an iPad type thing, and yes a damn razor...make sure you go over e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g with them including what not to do as well.  And if your daughters haven't started shaving yet, then tell them exactly what they can and cannot shave off and don't leave anything up for interpretation.  In fact, do one better and sit there the first time; don't make the same mistake I did because it may not be your kids eyebrows...they might not like their Widow's Peak or something!  I hope I stopped at least one kid out there from making the same decision as mine did by reading this post...because I don't want to think my child is the only one that would do something so...so....stupid.