Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Bipolar - Lucky & Alive by Jennifer

I just wrote the most personal of all my posts the other day with approval by my bipolar twin sister, Jennifer.  It took her a few days to be able to read what I wrote from start to finish and she wrote my parents and me the most wonderful "thank you note" I've ever received and also was able to add even more insight to her disorder.  I felt it necessary to create it's own post instead of just letting it go to the comment section (Bipolar Disorder Doesn't Mean Quack To Me).

From my sister Jennifer:

Well, now that I have found my voice and quit crying over the beauty and poignancy of Barbara's blog about our family rally, trials, and ultimate domination over my life-long demon, I want to say again...THANK YOU!!! We are a family of Super Hero's and it does in fact take that dang village everyone talks about no matter how small! I am lucky.

To say there are no bad days or weeks or even longer sometimes is not the case. And I know very confidently that my Super Hero's are always ready with their capes and neat gadgets. I also know that you recognize the signs and I don't have to point those times out which is so thoughtful of each of you. I am lucky.

My mornings start early but slower than most as I must evaluate my mindset, pull up my mental boot straps, pull up my big girl undies and decide to make it a great damn day ("come Hell or high water" as daddy would say). Then I sit on the edge of my bed, practice and test out which Jennifer is with me and match that smile (HA!! still no cavities) with her and usually like it, then slap my palms to my thighs and say "LET'S DO THIS"!!! Then I'm on my way...or on my way to my Super Heroes if none of that works...hey...even a cheerleader of her own crusade falls off the pyramid sometimes! This doesn't take long but it's necessary, just as much as my breakfast of various medications is, so I will take my mental meds daily too for as long as the sun rises in my life. I am lucky.

I still forget promises made, which frankly stinks as I feel like I disappoint people or I'm embarrassed to say "HEY! What did we decide to do about...". And sometimes I still turn into that hermit crab and just can't find the energy to pick up the phone just to chat, which seems trivial and easy to most but feels like climbing the tallest mountain to me. But I know that no matter what, you all, who are my best friends, will be waiting for me to change that mountain into a molehill. I am lucky.

So, I will say again, THANK YOU!!! Thank you for stepping in and up. Staying strong and with me. Being hard or soft and loving me for me! I am lucky.

Barbara, you amaze me with your insight. You showed me that there is more humor to find and more to come and I'm excited! I too have memories that make me laugh like a loon and I think...wow...we needed that! It's usually within our "Super Family" and isn't that wonderful?!? I am lucky.

I love you all!!!
Me

P.S. I am LUCKY!!!

7 comments:

  1. I am a blessed mother of two amazing daughters who are amazing mothers to their children. I love you to the moon and back, Daughters Dear.
    Mama Mia

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    1. It is us that are blessed - without your guidance and love we wouldn't be the people we are today. Thank you for for all that you do and all that you are. We love YOU to the moon and back Mama!!

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  2. God blessed us all when he brought you girls into Janie & Steve's lives. It took a lot for both of you girls to post this, but look how many people you stand to help by doing this. You girls stole our hearts the first time we saw you. We aren't just lucky we are blessed beyond what we so deserve. We don't get to see each other as often as we should, but each time I see your name on Facebook or get an email it brings a smile to my face. You girls are so very special to us.

    Love,
    Aunt Linda & Uncle Wayne

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    1. I do believe that God had a plan when he brought us into y'alls lives Linda. I can only hope that other adopted kids have the kind of life that you all gave to us. You welcomed us into your lives like we had been there since the day we were born. Thank you for that! I am so proud of Jennifer for trusting me with writing about this subjuct! Spending Chritmas with you guys was so wonderful - it made me think about how much more time we NEED to spend together. You guys made it extra special and Mama and Daddy would agree! Linda, you and Wayne are some of the best people that I know and I wish I could write about how much you've been there for me personally. Someday I will! We love you two with all our hearts!! PS. Skye is ready to come stay with you again!
      Love,
      Barbara

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    2. Hugs all round for our Amazing family.
      Mama Mia

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  3. Thank you!!! For writing this and being willing to be vulnerable in such an expressive and articulate way. I have 2 friends who are bipolar and I myself have my own demons of anxiety or lows. Again I say, “Thank you.❤️“

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