Prom...iscuous

Ah, prom season - it's in full swing once again and just like all things teen related, there's gonna be drama.  This year, and probably building up over the last few from what I've seen, it's all about dress-coding girls.  How do I feel about this?  I'm not torn actually; I personally think that too many girls have lost the art of dressing in a way that leans more towards elegance and understated beauty.  Even worse, many of our young tend to dress more towards the "gosh, I hope my boyfriend confuses me with a prostitute tonight".

Not all girls feel the need to flaunt all their bits and pieces but unfortunately for the ones that actually have some taste, rules have had to be put in place that might actually be a little over the top, even in this moms opinion.  But don't despair all you young women out there...it will continue to happen even in adulthood because those same fun-ruiners grow up and continue to ruin it for others in their place of business.  Matter of fact, the dress codes put into place for things like the prom, grade school, and the ever popular "Casual Friday's" in offices wouldn't have to be anywhere near as strict as they are except that the females that crave to be ogled on the regular will push the limits of whatever boundaries are set.  So, to help alleviate the problem or pending lawsuits, schools and businesses will over-do so as not to have to address the usual suspects over and over again.  Trust me, I've been in Human Resources for years and trying to tactfully fix the problem does not register with them. See, you can't say something straight up like "hey, quit dressing like you're about to go work the corner downtown!" or go about it like you're making an honest mistake to drop a hint, such as -  "Yo', I was chatting with Bob in the corner office and I promised him I'd ask if you were booked tonight and what are your rates?"  For most females either of those approaches would be their golden ticket outta there via a new yacht to their new beach house courtesy of <insert company name here>.  There are a few of those that will look mildly ill but immediately upon leaving your office will do a quick fist pump because they were successful in pulling off the slutty co-worker look.  You can't be too direct and you need to ease into the conversation with an adult about the choice of clothing they are wearing; you can be as direct as you wish when telling a teenager that they can't wear something at school like what they are parading around the halls in at the moment.  Let's compare the two types of conversations before we get back to the prom topic shall we?

Conversation One - HR vs. Jane Hoe (see what I did there? Not Doe but Hoe...as in 'Ho like Wh...anyway)

HR: Jane, can I see you in my office please?
Jane:  Sure, what's up? Something wrong?
HR:  Well, no...no, not really wrong per say.  Have a seat.  Jane, let me just come out with it so you can get back to the wonderful work you do here at IAMBSINGU.  But before we go into that, I just wanted to let you know that your work here is invaluable and I've heard many great things about you.  But the reason I wanted to chat with you for a moment, other than your terrific sense of humor - you do make me laugh! Remember that time we had that team building meeting?  You had me in stitches young lady!  You had everyone doubled over in laughter that day! We've had some complaints about some of the things you wear here on Casual Friday so if...
Jane:  What?! What kind of complaints?  Who's complaining?  I bet it's that bitch in Accounting! What did she say?  What...
HR:  No, no, it wasn't her. I mean anyone in that department!  It honestly doesn't matter who it was; it's my job to talk to someone when things of this nature are brought to my attention.
Jane:  Things of this "nature?" What in the hot Hell does that even mean?  What's wrong with the way I dress?  Do YOU think there's anything wrong with what I'm wearing?
HR:  Do I?  Oh!  Well...well what I think doesn't matter really.  But, I mean, I may not choose to wear such tight jeans or such a low cut top?  But, I don't have the body type to pull it off like you do.  But if I did? Um, I'd still probably opt not to wear that sort of outfit.  If it were me that is.  Maybe you might want to think about a less provocative ensemble in the future?  You know how people talk and we don't want it to get so out of hand that we lose out on "Casual Friday's" you know?
Jane:  This is absurd!  Look! <stands and turns rear towards HR> Do these look too tight to you?! Do they?
HR:  Well, not everywhere; they certainly aren't too tight at your ankles.  Listen, let's not get all worked up here Jane.  If you could just save those particular jeans for after hours that'd be great.  Don't worry about the people talking, they'll move on to other things soon enough.  Oh look at the time!  Sorry, I'm going to have to cut this short I have a meeting in five minutes.  Jane, if you have any questions just let me know - my door's always open!  Thanks for helping save our Fridays...by not wearing those jeans again...or that top...

Conversation Two - Any School Official (ASO) vs. Female Student (FS)

ASO:  You're shorts don't come down to your fingertips Miss FS so they don't meet school policy. Call one of your parents to bring you a change of close then report back to class immediately.
FS:  But..but...okay.

My point about being direct and not entertaining an argument with a child or teenager about choice of clothing is that it's our job to teach each girl self respect and that means dressing appropriately and not like she's willing to do something that she's probably not even close to really wanting to.  We have to teach young women that if you dress like you want the boys to attack you then don't be surprised when they do just that. But also don't be surprised if they treat you like garbage later because in the end it's the girls that demand respect for themselves that they boys really drool after.  Teach the girls to leave something for the imagination when picking out that prom dress or beach attire, etc.  If we teach them young then they won't be conditioned to think that they have to look like a "working girl" to get ahead in the workplace later.

Now, I must add that I've seen and read some disturbing things about dress-coding too and it's only fair that I call out those teachers that have been wrongly turning girls away from one of the biggest days thus far in their short lives.  Teachers, school officials, etc you need to chill out just a bit and recognize when you're being ridiculous!  I am ashamed of some of you for turning away girls that look perfectly fine and possibly better dressed and covered than you were at your own prom.  One teacher turned a girl away that had on the same dress (different color) than another that was let in moments after! For shame Mrs. Teacher!  You're either picking favorites or just being vengeful for some reason.  If you can't take into account that every person is proportioned differently then this night of chaperoning was not something you should have signed up for.  At my height most dresses that come to the knee on my friends would be somewhere around three inches shorter on me but still at my lower thigh.  Would you turn me away for that?  Or rather would you let me in because I'm the quiet one in your class that does what she's told but you wouldn't let my friend in because she's too chatty during school even though we thought it would be cute to wear the same dress in different colors?  Another school in Charlotte actually kicked a girl out for wearing pants!  Please explain to me how that violated the schools dress-code! Sad.

The ugly truth is that it's mainly the parents fault for allowing their children to wear whatever their hearts desire from well before the prom was a thought in their heads.  You are parents! You are not pimps!  They'll find the right guy without you helping them find their cleavage before they've stopped giggling at the word breast.  So say it with me everyone:

Parents not pimps! Parents not pimps! Parents not pimps! One more time!! Parents not pimps!

Girls, please remember that you do not look beautiful when all of your junk is spilling out of the top of your strapless gown or if that gown is too tight.  I promise you'll look back and shudder because you stuffed yourself into a dress to impress someone and didn't realize that you looked like you were one hors d'oeuvre away from ripping through the seams like sausage out of it's casing.

Be stunning, be elegant, be proud of yourself and have the best night of your teenage lives!

Jennifer's (my twin sister) dress circa 1990