The American Idol Generation

Sadly this will not ring true to those that I've dubbed the American Idol Generation because they have literally no concept of having something negative pointed out to them about...themselves! It's not their fault really, their parents spent years and years telling them that they deserve everything and that they are the best at everything. "Oh Baby, I know you forgot to practice once a month for the two weeks you were taking that oboe thingy, but they kicked you out because you just put those other people to shame...to shame I say!" These are the same fools that wind up trying out for American Idol and sound like the off-spring of Goat Boy and Latoya Jackson. And after Simon spews truth all over their hot-pants, it-almost-fits t-shirts and purple streaked hair they say "oh yeaaaaah, well my Mutha said I could sing like an angel and a even betta than Miss Jennifer Lopezzzzzz, and you just wouldn't know a tune if it pierced ya tongue Simon COWARD!" Or whatever crap they come up with.  Part of me actually feels sorry for them because I know their parents sent them off with a big hug and a false-promises of wealth and fame.


This American Idol Generation has never been cut from a team without a bubble-wrapped reason from their parents or yelled at because they missed all but one practice.  This group of embryos that I see all the time (not you, the other embryo beside you...really) just coming out of college and possibly just getting weened off the breast walk into their new jobs expecting everything set up just the way it is in their bedroom at their parents house (or basement if they are super-duper lucky).  They are absolutely baffled as to where their extra monitor is and...hold the phone..."you don't have any Pepsi products in that ginormous stash of FREE soda you provide?  What the HELL is going on here?!  Why do I have to share an office?  Who are those old people that get their own offices??  There must be some kind of mistake!" Sadly I am not exaggerating.  I'm not saying that we should kick our kids in the ego daily, but there's nothing wrong with stating the facts.  Hey, I grew up a swimmer and I'll be the first to tell you that when my daughter tried it...it wasn't so good.  And when she tried the second year, I truly loved her effort but she looked like she was having a convulsion every time she did butterfly.  I was starting to think I'd better go pull her out of the water 'cause someone was certain to call 911 for the poor kid in lane 2...or at least have a spoon ready just in case she was swallowing her tongue.  Sooooo not attractive for her to do that stroke...I actually started feeling a little queasy at how she contorted her arms to get them around.  I was just happy that all the kids look the same once they put on their swim caps and goggles...I almost had myself convinced that it wasn't her until she looked up at me...and waved...during the race.  Can't shrink that feeling.  I can tell you that I sincerely questioned my coaching skills at that moment.  Anyway when she finished the race (about the same time the other kids had dried off, eaten a snack and then come back to cheer on whoever that teammate was that was still in lane 2) I said to her "Bean, good effort but this just isn't your thing."  She said she thought she did pretty good and I said as nicely as I could "no, no you're not good...I actually think if you struggled any harder the water would start fighting back to defend itself."  And then I reminded her of the things she IS good at.  She rocks at soccer but I'm the first one to lay it out there if I don't think she gives her all.  I flat out tell her that if I'm going to drive her to these horribly early games then I'd better see her giving it 100% at all times.  And it's hard for me to yell like that because it's rather hot outside so the kids just need to suck it up and score...I'm ready to get in the cool air-conditioned car! <giggle> My point is that I refuse to add to the currently active Generation and I was completely fine that there weren't any trophies given out at the end of the season just because...well, just because.