Texting Etiquette - Class In Session!

You know, with all the ways one can get in touch with others these days I feel that the lack of common courtesy and patience has grown immensely in the human population.  Not to age myself, but I remember when email became the main way we communicated and hand written letters went the way of the dinosaur.  Maybe that's a bit of a dramatic statement as we still send cards for special occasions as well as the occasional letter to those that never grasped the concept of computers and their strange magics.  Even after email was running the communication show, I would make sure to sit down and write a letter to my Grandma Matthews because that's how she and I communicated and I truly believe that a computer would have just looked weird in her house.  I seriously just giggled thinking of her using a computer at all.  Anyway, when emailing started taking off and companies started relying on the internet to get quicker answers, changes done and information out to others, we were made to sit through an emailing etiquette class.  Yep, we had two mandatory classes we had to take - first we all had to take a sexual harassment class that went like this:  "Don't tell someone of the female persuasion that she smells good...tell her that her perfume seems nice or she'll sue the crap out of us"; second we had to take an emailing etiquette class.  At the time that brought on huge eye-rolls but now it seems that we need to reinstate that very class that I thought was so dumb all those years ago.  We were taught that if you send an email to someone or receive one, a response should not be expected in less than three days.  THREE DAYS!  That was like Superman fast and junk back then!!  If you did get an answer in faster than three days then that was a gift and not to become expected.  Over time the three day wait time dropped to two days, then one...then straight to finger-drumming impatience if it was more than a few hours.  How did that happen?!  I appreciate that emails allow us to "call" in sick or blast out information at one time to the whole office but it's also become a way of handing out a task and expecting people to be sitting at their desk waiting for that little notification to pop up to say you've got mail.  Sometimes I'm scared to even run to the potty if I'm in the middle of an email string with my managers!  Okay, so that might just be my shortcoming but still my point stands that we expect immediate action/reaction to an email.  And don't even get me started on the whole Facebook email system...you email me there and I may never see it (yet another part of FB that I hate).  "How come you didn't come to my wine party Barbara?  I sent you an invite on Facebook!"  Me:  "Huh?"  My confusion is because you finally emailed my regular email address that question and NOT through Facecrap!


Email is still huge of course and I happen to favor it over most other forms of communication except maybe the phone - but especially over texting.  I don't hate texting...I just hate how some people text.  I don't have a smart phone (they freak me out) and apparently they allow you to text faster than my stupid phone.  I have a tiny keyboard and all that jazz but for some reason I always tend to fall behind in the q&a that is currently being texted back and forth with whoever.  At some point I get an "LOL" when I'm supposed to get "oh no, I'm so sorry!" and then I say "??".  Then there's a weird pause in the text string and I know the other person is scrolling through everything trying to figure out if they type-laughed about me sneezing so hard my eye popped out.  Plus, my phone does something totally annoying when I'm trying to reply; if I'm texting you and you send one before I'm done (which happens...a lot) and I choose to read it instead of hitting some stupid button to save yours for later...my text goes into drafts!  I hate that to no end!!!  But, here's the rub, I want to read what you wrote before I'm done because what if it addresses the question I'm currently typing or what if it says "never mind...don't answer"?  <sigh>  I'm frustrated about texting right now and I'm not even holding my phone!


So, here's some things to keep in mind if you're some speed-texter or impatient freak that can't stand not to be answered the minute you hit send:


a.  Let the other person answer your dang question BEFORE sending them a whole new text unless the world is going to blow up if they answer your first question.  But just know that your "don't answer me" text might not stop them  and then everyone gets blown up or at least confused...or highly irritated if it happens a lot.


b.  Have a little flippin' patience!  I had someone text me a question when I was on the road and I didn't get back to them in less than thirty seconds.  I then proceeded to get at least four more from said psycho all in less than five minutes so I finally pulled into a parking lot and scream-typed "I'M DRIVING GIVE ME A DAMN MINUTE!".  And just to let them know how ticked I was...I didn't put a ;-) or "jk" beside it.  Thaaaat's right...I meant it!  The mostly one-sided text conversation went something like this:


12:11pm  Psycho-text-freak: u there?
12:11pm  Psycho-text-freak: hello?
12:12pm  Psycho-text-freak: c this is why i dont think u like me
12:12pm  Psycho-text-freak:  hello?
12:13pm  Psycho-text-freak:  ?
12:13pm  Psycho-text-freak:  ??
12:14pm  Me:  I'M DRIVING GIVE ME A DAMN MINUTE!
12:14pm  Psycho-text-freak: u shouldn't text n drive
12:14pm  Psycho-text-freak: oh
12:15pm  Psycho-text-freak: lmk when you can txt
12:16pm  Psycho-text-freak: did u get back yet
12:16pm  Psycho-text-freak: hello?


Did you know that there's no symbol on any phone that has a picture of someone shoving a phone...never mind.  Anywho...that is a for real text conversation.  Can you even believe that crap?!  I get hives just revisiting the memory!


c.  If it's so important that you need immediate answers...PICK UP THE PHONE.  Wait, you're actually using a phone to text...soooo...it's even easier than I was thinking!  I'm very afraid that there a people out there that will text 911 when they need help. 


Dummy:   pls snd amblnc to 222 davis st
911 Operator:  what is "snd"
Dummy:  im bleeding & need amblnc
911 Operator:  meant to ask what "amblnc" was too
Dummy:  hurting bad ambulance
911 Operator:  what did the ambulance do that was so bad?
Dummy:  im dying
911 Operator:  ikr?! I am very funny.  The name is Dave.  Yours?
911 Operator:  ?


d.  Auto correct wouldn't bother you so much if you'd slow down and actually read what you typed.  Plus that would give us slow-texters at least a little better shot at keeping up with the conversation.


e.  This is more of a tip - if you get just an emoticon and no words after you and the other person have been texting for a while...they are done.  Same can be said for "LOL" - that person has no more words for you unless they re-initiate more text.  Assume that LOL is a courtesy chuckle and a warm goodbye - 'cause it is.


There are several things you can assume if I don't get back to you via text.  They range from being in the potty, driving, sleeping (my favorite), eating dinner with the family, watching TV, not feeling like playing the texting game, and all the way to I'm ignoring you on purpose.  You can chose which one it might be but that's on you - not me.  Oh!  And just 'cause you're bored and wanting to text-chat does not by any means mean that I am bored as well.


Happy Texting!