If I Were To Sweat The Small Stuff...

I love to read about stories or watch videos that depict huge events in others' lives like someone hearing for the first time because they finally received a cochlear implant or about some earthly saint donating a kidney to a complete stranger.  Doesn't it just warm the heart and bring a tear to your eye? It certainly makes you wonder if whatever problem you're "suffering" at the moment is really all that horrible.  That's called perspective people.  But it occurred to me the other day when I shared a post on Facebook from a friend that illustrated how something wondrous happened to another human being that was totally life-changing, that no matter what reminds me of how "good" I have it or my family has it, that if I were being completely honest and truthful with myself I would silently admit that I do still let the small stuff burrow its way underneath my thinning skin.  So I decided to make a list of the small stuff that I do, in fact...sweat.  This is completely and utterly self-serving, shallow, somewhat stupid and my favorite kind of thing to write about!  This list is in no particular order and is probably incomplete because as everyday passes by at a speed that tends to pick up pace the older I get, I tend to find new things to mentally shake my fist at.  I suggest enjoying a nice Chianti whilst passing judgement on me.

• Getting the goosebumps in the shower right after shaving my legs.
• Shaving my legs!
• Waking up starving because I shoved too much food in my face the day before...that's just not fair!
• Thinking that I'll look okay out in public without my makeup on...until I'm actually out in public without my makeup on!?!
• Seeing someone I know out in public when I don't wear my makeup.
• My inability to say "no" especially when others have the inability to say "yes"!
• That toothpaste makes everything I drink for the next half an hour taste like...well, crap.  Do I brush my teeth prior to coffee?  Will my toothpaste make my coffee taste like a peppermint infused morning drink?  I can tell you that no...no it does not.
• No matter how many pairs of shoes I have, I don't have the right color for at least one outfit I want to wear on any given week.
• That I look different in the mirror than I do in pictures; fluffy hair in the mirror...flat hair in a picture taken not even five minutes after my "hair check".
• That's it's darn near impossible to be lazy and social at the same time.
• When I do finally decide to get off my butt and socialize someone in my family gets sick and I can't.  Shout out to my girlfriend!  Sorry!
• That I feel like I look better in my pajamas than I do in "real" clothes.  (That might be in my head just to feel better about living in my pj's...you'd be amazed how the brain can trick you just to keep you happy)
• The word yeast used in any recipe...I'm sorry, that word has very negative connotations in my opinion.
• That I feel like my daughter only wants to help me cook when I just get the house cleaned. "Oh, you like the recipe that calls for flour?  Well...<sigh> yay.".
• Constantly hating that my dogs tail curls up to reveal...'nuff said.
• That every time I clean the counters until they are sparkly clean and I open the blinds to let the wonderful sunlight in...it's revealed that apparently I've only done a half-ass job. And what are those little shiny things that I see floating around in the sunny streams of light?  Little fairies with grudges and a massive army?
• When I clean the glass on the front window and my dog, whom I love, smudges me a kiss right at eye level.  ("guess that's why they call it window pain").
• Right when you make up your bed to military standards and your eight pound dog jumps in the middle of it because she thinks it's play time and then she looks at you like it's your fault when you're "busted" for not doin' your chores.
• When transporting your freshly washed garments from the washer to the dryer and at least three pieces escape your grasp and flutter to the floor and you know some of the lint from the dryer screen floated down there just moments before.
• When I've just gotten my car washed and the car in front of me has a warped sense of humor and decides it's all of a sudden unhappy with the bug sneeze on its windshield thus spitting dirty mist all over my WAS-spotless car.
• If you've decided for the first time ever, ever, ever that you're gonna miss your kid while they are at school and need to give them extra long lovin' in the mommy circle...pull over and breast feed later!  I've got crap to do!!
• The ignorant individuals that decide they need to give morality speeches via on-line platforms and not even realize that they have such horrid grammar that it takes a specialist to figure out that they were not agreeing with the post they commented on.  I weep for our future sometimes.

I want to remind you that this list is just day-to-day things that bother me and I could go on and on.  However, I'd like to expand on the last bullet point because I really feel it's necessary to write further about public grammar.  I would guess that more than half of the comments I read on Facebook under certain pages are full of nothing but poor grammar.  It really scares me because they actually think what they are writing makes some kind of sense and worse yet...a point!  And don't even bother to try and correct them because all of a sudden they can spell something like "Grammar Nazi"  and the like.  Boom, I understood that.  Better off just commenting "huh?" underneath as many times as it takes for them to rewrite different pieces until you have enough to figure out what the hell they were trying to say in the first place.  Think of it as an pre-owned puzzle that has a piece or two missing and somewhere on the box there's a "Caution" note stating that it's age appropriate for children under three - not that it's so important you should wait around to figure it out.  Talk about the anti-climactic! 

So, don't forget that everyone has problems and yours probably aren't the worst.  Have compassion for others and live like you may not know what's going in their lives...but heck, have fun with the small stuff - laughter is the best medicine.  We're human and we can't help but think of what's affecting us at the moment.  Now, I must find some type of lotion that prevents ingrown hairs on my upper thighs between...holy moly!  I found these pads that help stop razor burn on my legs! 

Time to exfoliate...I wish you all a good night!!