Who The Hell Are You?

The other day I wrote on my Facebook page the following: 
I learned today that there are two groups of people - there is the group of people that can have differences of opinions and discuss, question, argue, fuss, debate, or whatever you want to call it and at the end of the day just agree to disagree and maybe even agree on some thing's but never fully everything but that's OK because there's respect and well thought out opinions and the discussion is fluid and non-stupid (seriously needs to be a word) and those same people read carefully what the other person is saying not what they want to read. That's very critical to having a good debate (not even a debate, just trying to make others see where you are coming from). Then there's group number two..idiots that can't see past their own nose.

Who the hell are you to tell me who I can and can't vote for?  Who the hell are you to tell me I'm wrong for what I believe?  You're no one when it comes to my fundamental beliefs and you're no one when it comes to how I feel.  That's what's cool about America...I can think and feel as I like and there is absolutely nothing you can do about that...or is there?  See, I'm up for listening to reason and could even change my mind about some things that I never thought about before IF you tell me calmly, coherently, and not judgmentally.  Without talking about who I voted for or how I felt about the candidates, I will tell you what happened to me today that made me want to say "who the hell are you to say that to me?" But I will also tell you about a few other friends with completely different points of view that stood up for me and how I watched silently along as they "discussed" the Women's March.  I'm going to try and not give away how I felt about the march and who I voted for because that's not what this post is about.  If I do end up spilling the beans, it's my opinion and feel free to comment but if it's hate filled like I saw today, it will not be tolerated and my laser puppy will find you (aka you'll be blocked).

Today my friend posted something quite interesting on her Facebook page about the Woman's March that wasn't...well, the mainstream thoughts of the men and women joining in.  If you want to read it let me know and I'll send the link.  Regardless, our long time friend, Julie, who is a huge feminist and life-long liberal decided to ask why this was any different from what she thought.  Anyway, it spurned a whole days full of conversation about why one felt the March was off point and why another thought it was directly on point.  In the end they both agreed that the woman dressed as a vagina was beyond comprehension.  LOL (no, seriously, no one could really speak for that). But in all seriousness, both Julie, Amy and Jenn decided that no matter all the different reasons one showed up, is that we, as women, showed we could come together en masse...BUT there has to be next steps.  We all agreed that "people must participate and affect the change they want to see".  It was so cool that we all had differences of opinions and Julie, remaining calm and vigilant, not only opened her heart to what was being said...she opened our hearts and eyes too because she wasn't "screaming" at us or demanding that we admit we were wrong and we all ended up agreeing a little more about everything and not just the weird vagina costume (barf). Anyway, I was really enjoying reading the comments and hitting like and I even asked why everyone couldn't have discussions like this without wanting to back-hand the other person or unfriending them because of their views when all of the sudden, out of the blue, some jerk said "If you are pro-Trump then you agree that women should be allowed to be sexually assaulted - so don't bitch when it happens to you..."

You know that feeling when you want to peel your face off and show your deepest anger but you're too busy wiping hot tears off your cheeks trying to pretend to your spouse sitting next to you that nothing is wrong because all they'll say is just let it go but you're preparing the mac-daddy of all ass chewings ever (if only you could see because that jerk really hit a nerve) and you just need a moment and two...no, three gulps of wine to calm down so you can respond in a manner that is so awesome and heated that he actually visualizes his journey to hell so he at least knows his mistake as he's getting ready to meet Beelzebub (aka. the Devil, Satan, Slue-Foot, the list goes on) and your words are so awesome they blaze hot and light up the whole room...but he doesn't notice because he NEVER REALLY READS WHAT YOU SAID!! Lord I hate those people.  I mean, c'mon man...I put thought into what I said and I really think if you went back and read it you'd at least take back the one statement that will have every woman that can read my facebook (approximately 438) wanting to strip you of your manhood...tiny as it clearly is.  Not only did this guy keep going about how woman ask for what they get, he boasted about how he served in our military.  Let me just put your mind at rest, my good friend Amy also served in the military and I literally visualized her holding this guy down with her boot to his throat even before she inboxed me...SHE is who is the face of the military (and one lady that stood up for me that I haven't met but clearly she's cool too...shout out to Cindee).  Between, Julie, the die-hard libertarian and Amy, the die-hard republican, I've got a good shot at hearing both sides fairly and calmly.  Honestly, I'm more republican than democrat but there have been many things over the years (yes, some of them argued by Julie) that have made me more of a republican with a democratic flare...and it looks good on me!

Anyway, I hated that I let one person get under my skin today because I knew he was a radical (and now eradicated from my friend list...get it? radica...never mind) but there are things that one day I'd love to share with you guys that would explain why it cut so deep, but for now it's important to know that you can't fix stupid and you can't change the mind of anyone that doesn't want to listen.  Change will only come when we can all agree to disagree AND find some middle-ground.  Also, and this is very important - please don't presume to know what others have gone through, are going through, have been through.  When you try to take into account things you can't possibly understand only then will you feel the power of your words take hold of someone else.  I don't presume to know what even my bi-polar identical twin has been through because I have only been a spectator but empathy is better than assuming nothing tragic, devastating, or just sad has ever touched someone.  Be careful with your assumptions and start listening with more than just your ears.

Remember, we may not like who the President of The United States is, but if we don't unite and get behind him then we will not have a successful country.  Did I vote for him? Maybe...or maybe not.  Do I get to complain because I voted?  Yep!  Will I?  Nope, but I'll enjoy all the jokes just like I did during the last several presidencies.  It's my right and besides, I adore humor!  Our differences make this world work even though it appears to also tear it down at times.  Our differences can be viewed as balance and that's how I chose to view it.  I'm totally open to differences and I hope you are too because if you're not we will never move forward as one.  Also, remember what Michelle Obama just recently said - if our Commander And Chief is successful then we all are successful.  And reminded us to aim high.  Good words to live by in my opinion.  

I can love you for who you are and what you believe...can you love others for who they are and what they believe?  Gosh, I hope so because it's a pretty cool feeling.