Nothing makes me feel more lonely than seeing a single shoe all alone and lost...lost on a sea of black asphalt. Why, why would someone just toss aside a perfectly good shoe without it's mate? Did the shoe do something wrong? Did it step in something that never quite scraped off try after try? Did it talk smack about the length of the pants hanging above them? I can't imagine feeling so "left"! Do you think the shoe wants to place an ad in the paper? RSWS seeking LSWS - please respond to add, looks don't matter! Would it be a plus if there was a foot inside the shoe from some loser sticking their foot out of the window while driving down the highway? I mean, isn't that bringing something to the relationship? Did that nameless loser have fink (that's foot stink just so you know) and the shoe cut its losses and "fell off" by choice? Why didn't the owner tie the shoes together and throw both over a power line like the good old days so the pair could spend the rest of their days swinging in the breeze?
Does it not bother anyone to see a single shoe laying there in the street like it belongs? Would it impact you more if it were laying on the railroad tracks? Do you picture some poor soul blowing down the tracks when swept away by the blazing fast Amtrak train with that poor man clinging for dear life and screaming "Nooooooooo....my shoe!!!" What if you were missing the same type shoe and you just so happen upon this find? Would you rejoice and grab your can of Lysol and hope for the 99% germ killing abilities to be fact and not "most of the time"? Can you spray enough Lysol to kill the foot left inside? Probably it's like I mentioned earlier; someone doofus thinking it looks cool to hang their left foot out of the window while driving like they have some special skill set. I got news for ya Jerky unless you drive stick shift everyone only uses the right foot to drive. Personally I think as horrid a site as it would be, there would be some slight gratification from witnessing a foot at least being smacked backwards by another vehicle. These are the same fools that decide "no, no, they don't mean EVERYONE should stay seated on this roller coaster!" Side note, if you can stand up after being strapped in you might want to try eating a small sandwich.
The only explanation other than "fool sticks foot out of window" theory is someone running at full speed from a crime scene in hopes that if they don't stop and look both ways before crossing the street the cop following behind will stop short to check left, right, then left thus enlarging the gap for a getaway. Unfortunately the criminals speeds are so incredible that they run clear out of their shoes...or just one. And after you're caught, while planning your escape, do you include the time it'll take to find your missing shoe? That can mess up your whole plan to get to Mexico before getting found out if you don't add the proper amount of time...duh.
Oh, I know! It's a whole underground movement to reenact Cinderella!! Everyone...start trying on all the shoes you find on the highways, bi-ways, side-streets, overpasses and underpasses (minus the ones with feetsies still in 'em) and maybe you'll have a fantastic up-do and a kick-ass dress like magic! Eh, sorry fellas - this is a chicks theory.
Just wanted to add something about feet. Feet are ugly; U-G-L-Y. If you think you have cute feet then stop thinking that immediately. A Pinto is still a Pinto even with a good paint job. Also, your car window is not, I repeat not, a picture frame and if you need some shoes look around!
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