Stupid Is Just Stupid

I'm really disappointed in my radio station.  Now, I know that doesn't seem to be a big deal to some, but my mornings tend to shape my emotional state for the day.  There's always the exception to that...it's not like if I have a super duper morning and then someone stabs me in the thigh that I'll just giggle, throw on a bandage and then hobble-skip through the rest of the day humming a Bruno Mars song to myself.  I'm an evil being when I first get up. I don't even like myself for at least half an hour or more!  


I seriously count on my favorite radio station to wake me up and make me smile at least once sometime between the hours of 7 and 10.  Also, and this is silly, but I feel very vested in my chosen radio station because I had a personal interaction with them that they probably can't even remember (ouch).  Nevertheless I have an obsessive need to listen to the majority of the show every weekday in hopes that they say something humorous like the good 'ole days...you know, like around eight months ago.  <sigh> They have been integrated into my routine and that's that.  Anyway, it seems that since late summer the content of what they talk about is so stupid and crass that it has sucked any level of funny right out of their program.  I keep hoping that they'll revisit their previous days and listen...I mean really listen, and then tell me they think their show is still good.  I keep holding onto the hopes that "today" will be better!  It's gotten so nasty that I can't even let my twelve year old listen!  I'm no prude and I don't over shelter my kid but I'm embarrassed to listen in front of her.  They will be talking about something benign like house painting and then someone has to compare the color of the paint to their pee or how they made whoopee inside of a Sherwin Williams paint can.  It wasn't always like that and I hate to blame it on one person, but the girl they chose to co-host is usually the first to kick the conversation into the gutter.  It's disappointing because I really did like her when I met her.  The lead dude has always been crass but lovable and someone has always kept him in check...or they did.  But it's not just the nasty stuff they talk about...they say things that are ridiculous and, well, just dumb.  Could the producers be so smart as to know people will listen just for the shock value of what comes out of the female co-hosts face next?  Am I that person that wants to be stupefied every day???  Dear Lord, please don't let that be me - I'd rather blame my dependency of that show on my OCD.


I know that everyone has moments that they've done something they aren't proud of or that's embarrassing and sometimes you tell those stories and laugh but then there are some of those moments that are best going to your grave.  Or sometimes you want someones advice on a subject matter that's a little naughty...and that's fine as long as you keep it on the lighter side especially when it's on-air.  I mean, give a girl a chance to have a gulp or two of coffee before you start figuring out ways to talk about your bedroom habits.  A question the host asked on-line about if a woman should always wear a bra in public was a perfectly fine question on or off-air, although personal, but not nasty in the least in my opinion (heck, I wrote a post about that).  People are going to answer in all different ways on-line and you can chose to read and/or answer.  Instead we have to hear on the radio about how the female co-host takes pictures of her naughty-bits on her iPhone or that she had relations with a stuffed animal when she was little.  I'm not fast enough to change the station before their words have assaulted my ears!  I've even tried whipping a bedroom shoe at the off button...a little side note, that never works and bathroom mirrors aren't cheap.  Please keep that stuff to yourself!  And no, it's not funny to talk about how you kept your neighbors Christmas present that was accidentally delivered to your door instead of hers.  What the heck is wrong with that woman?!  She needs to be punched right in the grill for that. I mean, if I had ordered a wedding dress and it fit my neighbor and she kept it after UPS accidentally delivered it to her, I'm pretty sure I'd let myself express my inner artist all over her front door.  Well, maybe I wouldn't but I'd really, really want to!  And isn't it a federal crime to open someone else's mail???  Here's some entertainment...how 'bout arrest that chick on-air?!  Now that would be awesome!


There are many recipes that make up a funny montage...stupid is NOT one of those ingredients.  How about a story from your past that's maybe not in such bad taste?  One story that I find funny in my past is one about an awesome prank my sister pulled on me.   As you may have read in a previous posting, I am scared of the dark and all things that come with that fear.  A common one among the young and...well...me, is what could be lurking under the bed.  And yes, my heart still speeds up a bit when I'm walking from my bathroom to the bed thinking that there's a small chance that my old fear will be validated when my ankle is grabbed for.  Over the years that fear has been rationalized to a point that the memory scares me more than thinking it could really happen and what has remained is more of a hope that my fear wasn't something that it could actually happen (but it could...really, it could!).  Anyway, every night when I was a little girl at bedtime I'd take five steps into my room right at my doorway and take a flying leap into the safety of my yellow checkered twin bed.  My sister, aka Meany Poopie Head, decided one night that she would move my bed further away by exactly one of my steps.  On this fateful night, after being told it was bedtime I went upstairs and did my normal five steps at my door, I leapt into the air like a graceful gazelle...and...OH SNAP! I come crashing to the ground like a boulder that Wile E. Coyote ordered from ACME to crush the Roadrunner.  Nice...real nice.  On top of thinking I would get eaten by a zombie or weird undead creature I was pretty sure my knees ended up in my trachea that night.  Anyway, this is just an example of a funny story (funny now, not then) with no "oops, I landed in a porno"; believe it or not, there's humor without a poor little unsuspecting stuffed teddy bear getting accosted.  Poor wittle teddy bear didn't stand a chance in the co-hosts childhood.


There aren't many radio hosts that have as many great and vivid memories and funny life experiences as this particular head show host and it's a damn shame that he can't retell them without his co-host relating it to her "virginia".  <ew>  The fans have bought in and love him dearly and sadly he doesn't see what's happening to his show.  Luckily for him there are no other morning shows to compete with around here.  So, we will just keep listening in hopes that the icky element leaves and we can get back to making me...er, everyone happy again.  My family would probably appreciate it the most.


Remember, it doesn't have to be nice to be funny...but stupid is just stupid.